AVOIDING A DISASTER: THE WEDDING EPISODE

Okay, picture this – you’re a bridesmaid, it’s your best friends’ wedding, it’s time to get ready and get her down the aisle. The makeup and hair is done, the bridesmaids are ready to go. The bride steps into her dress as she is pulling it up – KABLAM she swipes CONCEALER that the makeup artist put on the inside of her wrist (*long story, I’ll tell you later) straight up the front of her WEDDING dress across her boob leaving a weird orangey / tanned skin toned blob behind. The bride stands there and just says “um … this is not ideal” and looks to the bridesmaids hoping that someone – anyone will take handle of the situation. You can see the look in our eyes – total fear takes over all of us and our pupils dilate. We are all standing in front of her literally frozen in fear.

That is what happened at my best friends wedding – now I’m going to tell you what to do if for some insane reason you happen to be in this situation. I looked at the other bridesmaids who were all open-mouthed and not moving and thought “fuck, we’ve got to do something!” Thank god my Anna is not a bridezilla – if it was me you would have heard me screaming from the other side of town. I imagine it would have been like a “Stella” moment from A Streetcar Named Desire, the house probably would have shook like an earthquake.

Anyway, back to the solution – the first thing that popped into my mind was baby wipes (that was actually Kez I think who had mentioned them earlier as a great cleaning tool) I ran into action, I unfroze myself “Baby wipes!” I screamed. People ran in every possible direction – I just heard “No’s” from around the house – we didn’t have any. I knew we couldn’t use water, I needed something – “Makeup remover” again, “No’s” screamed back at me. Then I heard 2 words and I knew we were saved “Micellar Water?” “YES! Run!” Was all I said. We grabbed some cotton wool pads, dampened them with the micellar water and DABBED – now I mean it when I say DABBED the damp pad on the dress. The others were all trying their hardest to entertain Anna so she wasn’t focused on that what happening even still you could hear a pin drop in the room. Anyway, the pad wasn’t dripping wet, just damp. I dabbed and dabbed and dabbed away. Then once the area was slightly damp – NOT WET, I gently started to dab and twist the pad. I didn’t swipe or drag the pad on the dress at all as I didn’t want to push the product into her dress – then slowly but surely the makeup started disappearing. I really really wanted to cry at that moment – I don’t believe in god but I think I even yelled out “HALLELUJAH!” when it started working. I kept at it and then poof – the makeup was gone. Not 100% gone, but gone enough that no one would notice.

THE BRIDESMAIDS SAVED THE DAY. Okay, maybe a little dramatic – the show must go on and even if there was concealer from head to toe the day would never have been ruined but I think we all gave ourselves a little pat on the back and agreed that it was a job well done. We also gave a silent nod to our comrade in arms – the micellar water.

Above: Before disaster struck – we were all oblivious to what was to come

After: Concealer on my wedding dress – what concealer? *wink wink*


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